of the secret power of compliments
I rode Lotje languidly to the coffeeshop this morning, locked her to an obliging telephone pole, and stumbled in.
My bright-eyed friend looked up from her newspaper, gave me a once-over, and told me I looked happy. I blinked and thought, what a rare and lovely compliment.
It made me think about how often we try to bond through commiseration instead. “You look so tired,” “Are you here avoiding your work too?” and the great Dutch classic: “Terrible weather, aye?”
Rewind twenty years to this scene. I am about four, and my grandma is teaching me how to give compliments. We’re sitting outside, practicing, and she’s just given me a compliment on my dress. It’s my turn now. I smile at her, look her in her eyes, and say, “My, what a nice tree that is.”
Join me in my mission to delight someone with a sincere compliment today.
Is your grandmother still living? Gotta love her character education program for 4-year-olds — way cool. Major props to grandma — any way to replicate her for the future?
We will resist (very temporarily) the urge to compliment you and Marty. Just know that our love for you is deep and our respect for you two only increases as time goes by. You two matter to us.
D&L, the love and respect are so very mutual.
So, so, so true! It’s amazing how good a compliment feels and how hard it seems to give one…especially to people closest to us, it seems like they are the one we always commiserate with (at least for me!). By the way, I appreciate your blog :)
Especially with people close to us, I agree! There is such a fine line between sharing each other’s burdens and enabling negative attitudes…
hahaha! I was waiting for something profound to come out of your 4-year old mouth! ….And it did! Here’s to grandmas and here’s to compliments! I’m not sure when I last saw such an artistic blog – It’s so lovely! Glad you came by mine so I could connect.
Thank you for your kind words, Marilyn…
I was so glad to mosey by your space today — I’m a TCK and a ponderer of all the topics you blog on.
Very cool! Where did you grow up? The ponderings never cease do they…..
Would love a story from you for my So.Many.Stories section.